Hail to the Chiefs

YES!

Your prayers have been answered, America!

Your calls to Soccer Vishnu have gone to voicemail over and over, but now - SUCCESS!

For the first time in 2010, and after a long, two-season drought of NOT being champions (really, we have no idea HOW not to be champions, so it's much more comfortable walking around now...) we have regained the 'Ship - the Roseville Coed Thursday Night Rec League Champions Cup, to be exact... or, as I like to call it, The Rocothunirel Cup (Roco Cup for short)

Last night, after having gone 6-1-1 and being in first place for the season, we finished off our dreaded rivals, the Dye Hards, for the second time in three weeks, this time 3-1...

Allow me to set the stage - it was a relatively cool June evening, high 70's and clear - really beautiful soccer weather, as the game commenced... on the field it looked like this:

Nick - Paul

Kaylen - Matt - Chad - Rachel

Kellie - Lucas - Joe - Crusty

Andy

Or at least I think that's how it looked... we have Taylor subbing in for everyone from Lucas and Joe to Matt, Chad, Nick and Paul, and everyone really played everywhere at some point...

Except for Paul... he plays offense... And Nick...

Anyway, our midfield controlled the ball for the majority of the first half - we have more scoring opportunities than they did, and they didn't really have any seriously good ones - I was kicked the ball a few times, and I went and grabbed a few corner kicks away from them, but that was about it - we were either controlling the middle of the field or attacking for the majority of the half...

We finally broke through when Paul was played a ball on the right sideline and he dribbled past a few defenders and rifled a shot from about the 18... It was a play that we had rarely seen him make; usually he'll dribble until he loses the ball, do a silly move and lose the ball, or pass off to someone... This time he took the shot and laced it far post, right past the goalkeeper...

Kumquats 1-0, end of first half...

I should mention here that we had more fans (due in no small part to the weather and the fact that we were playing for the 'ship) than we normally have - Matt's sister Tani and her son Marcus the Butt Sharkus were out as well as his brother Josh and his daughter Joey, Kaylen parents were on hand, Des was there in her pregnant-ness to cheer on Chad (and the rest of her former teammates) and Andy Bragg (Matt's brother) even brought a date!

There were other people there from our team watching, but I don't know who they are, so no mention for them...

Anyway, we start the second half just like the first, a battle in the middle with no real scoring opportunities for the Dye Hards, while we missed a few can't-miss shots in pure Kumquat fashion... Chad missed point blank from a beautiful Nick Nutter cross... Lucas missed a gimme wide of the post... Taylor on a semi one-on-one with the keeper put it right into his body and Kaylen on the rebound (with the keeper out) just missed the chip shot upper V... but so it goes with the Kumquats...

All of those shots combine to make us laugh, though, and really what's the Roco Cup without the requisite Kumquats laughing and berating each other??

But all of that came to an end when, on a corner kick, a failed clear led to a preposterous bounce off the knee of one of their girls, directly headed for Kellie covering the near post, who had the ball roll right off her thigh and into the goal before I could get there...

1-1 Tie...

Ugh...

This was the dark part of the match... With renewed vigor, the Dye Hards attacked, forcing several balls in on me, with no real chance of scoring, and I was able to take the majority of them with no problem, but they were clearly on the attack... On another corner kick I misjudged a ball that hung in the air for an hour, and had Wyatt (a Dye Hard who was a really good sport last night) not ALMOST HIT HIS HEAD ON THE CROSSBAR he might have gotten a clean header goal...

On another opportunity, a girl drove in from the right, past Crust and had a clear shot at the goal from about 10 yards - I was cutting the angle so was outside the six yard box - she tried to go back post, where there were two Dye Hards running on, but I was able to get just enough hand on the ball to force it out and onto Lucas' foot, who cleared the danger away...

That was the last real opportunity they had to score, as within a few minutes, the most bizarre goal happened...

Off a corner kick, Lucas got a great head on the ball, but the shot was blocked... then Rachel (I think) got a good foot on the rebound, which bounced directly off the crossbar and back onto the waiting head of Lucas, standing in the exact same spot as he was when he first headed the ball, and hit nothing but the back of the net...

2-1 Kumquats, 10 minutes left in the half...

After that there were no real scoring opportunities for them as we ran out the clock, and then just to add icing to the fire (yep, that's what we call mixing metaphors) Taylor put a ball in the goal that was kicked so hard that it ricoched off of three people, never once losing that much momentum or getting defelected... But that's what Taylor does. He kicks the crap out of the ball... Left footed...

3-1 Kumquats, final...

So yes, the Roco Cup is back in the hands of it's rightful owners - I do find it interesting though that in the final standing, only we and the Dye Hards show ourselves to be any good...

And those two teams, come new teams and resurgent old teams, have won the last bajillion championships... This season there was one new team and one resurrected old team, and next season there's rumored to be two new teams, so here's hoping someone can step to the challenge and at least give us a run for our money!

New season starts next week, so stay tuned!

Back in the Driver's Seat

So now that I haven't posted in a decade, I'm sure no one even reads this anymore...

So, Andy... how have you been? Where have you been? Well, I've missed about a month of soccer for work, and other things...

Like what other things?

Well, I went to Conan and wouldn't you know it? The only show he had in Sacramento was on a Thursday night...

Oh man, that must have been a tough decision... How was the show?

It was tough - the show was great though, thanks for asking!

So how's the season been going?

Well, now that you ask... we got back into the swing of things yesterday after a bye week and we played our rivals, the Dye Hards... We were all prepared for a battle like we always have with those guys, I mean, either we or them have won the last bajillion championships, so it's a natural rivalry and we always seem to play better when we play each other... Plus we really like competing against teams with youth, skill and limitless substitutes on the sidelines...

So we were geeked to play... But what do we find when we get to the pitch? They only have nine players, including five girls... It seems that half their team scheduled a trip to Yosemite that just so happened to coincide with our game. Were they scared to play us? Probably... or probably not... It's either one or the other... It's 50-50...

Anyway, we won the game pretty easily... we scored two goals (Paul and Jessica, who wore yellow) pretty easily in the first half and eased up after that - we attacked and controlled the game, but I only touched the ball twice the entire half... I mean, isn't sportsmanship knowing that you are going to win and easing up just a tad so that everyone has a good time?

We went into halftime confident, having fun and up 2-0... And the other team, being down two players and overwhelmingly overmatched, seemed like despite all of that were having fun, too... So good times all around...

We came out to the second half pretty much the same way, but with energy since we were having such a good time, and about 20 minutes into the half, Kellie dribbled up the right side from her defender's position, slotted a give-and-go pass to the middle, got the ball back and slotted a great shot right passed the keep from about 15 yards (it seemed...) WOOHOO!

Now, she'll tell you she used to score a goal or so every when she played in high school and college, but this is the first I've seen and we've been playing together for awhile...

We always kid her about shooting it right to the hands of the keeper, so no one was surprised when she told us that she didn't even look at where the keeper was, she just shot the ball and it happened to be a great shot... That's the key, Kell... that's the key...

We were cruising toward a shutout when, at around minute 30 of the second half, they got two more players, the Frog and another girl... They started playing with more energy, and then Russell got called for a handball just inside the box, and a girl from their team shot a PK side netting with pace that I had no chance on, even though I felt like I got a pretty good jump...

Oh well, there goes the clean sheet... Up 3-1, the offense again came alive and Nick Nutter ripped a shot after a nice show of passing to make the final score 4-1.

It was a win, and any win is good, but it felt a little hollow that we beat them when they weren't at full fighting weight... Oh well... With that win we are guarunteed to be at least the second place team going into the playoffs, with a chance to take the lead next week if we beat the other Mormon team...

Stay Tuned!

New Season Starts in Two Weeks

We lost the championship game... for the first time in three seasons - now we look forward to next season...

Championship Game!

TONIGHT!

GET HYPED!

Another Verse, Same As The First...

Yes, I've been lax in updating recently, but that's only because I've been busy working at my job... No really, I have...

At any rate, after losing our first game of this season rather decisively, the two-time defending champion Kumquats have gone on an undefeated streak and have risen., once again, to the Championship game...

We have one game left, but because of our win last night, we are mathematically guaranteed to play the Dye Hards, again, in the championship...

There seems to be a repeating practice here - every season, we lose badly to the Dye Hards once during the season, tie them once, then eek out a win for the Championship...

Knock on wood that that happens again - we got beat the first game against them, tied them in a good game that we really should have won but ended up tying 2-2 - and now in the immortal words of Jay-Z - "we're on to the next one..."

Stay tuned for more regular updates - and starting next season more statistics - we're scoring so many goals that we're going to start keeping track of who's scoring, helmet sticker plays (name forthcoming) and all that jazz...

Shoutouts to Paul, Nick and Taylor, who unfortunately I haven't been updating regularly, but they've all had multiple goal games this season - I promise more updates in the future, so stay tuned...

The Kumquat Ballet

Champions Again!

KUMQUATS: 2009 CHAMPIONS

Apologies to everyone for not posting last week - wait a minute... we're the freaking champions of Roseville Coed Thursday Outdoor Rec Soccer League Winter 2009... WE DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR NUTHIN!

So yes, the Kumquats are once again on top after we beat DOWN the Dye Hards last night 3-2 on a wonderful performance by the offense - the Kumquats looked like a nice, strong, cohesive unit out there, with Kelly Law scoring the games first goal off a great Nick Nutter serve, then Paul putting one in on a great combined offensive team play, then Nick putting what would be the eventual game winner right past the keeper from about 25 yards out - really a great effort on offense...

And the defense played really well... the score was technically 3-2, but really the last goal didn't count - they scored with literally two seconds left in the game and we had all pretty much resigned ourselves to winning at that point... That's not an excuse... I'm just saying...

Anyway, the defense played well, really only allowing two scoring opportunities - the first when a dude dribbled around half the team from midfield and was able to rifle a shot from about ten yards from the goal that went just to my right (near-post... yes, I'm kicking myself...) that tied the score in the first half 1-1, then they had one opportunity in the second half but it was just a great shot and both Kellie and Joe were in the way of the ball had it been on goal... but it wasn't, and that was the end of that...

Kelly law's goal is on par (maybe even better) than a goal Matt had last week - both headers, but Kelly's was an amazing, directional header during action (not off a corner, as was Matt's) which really got the team going...

The second goal was a product of great teamwork - the offense took the ball down to the opposing touch line, Kelly Law played a perfect pass to Nick Nutter, who could have taken a shot but instead made the keeper commit before lacing a pass to Paul who put the "penis ball" away (penis ball: a ball that makes it so easy to score a goal all you have to do it get your penis on the ball and it goes in...)

The third and eventual game winner was just a marvelous heads-up play: Matt had taken the keeper out by challenging him for a ball... The keeper claimed the ball was in his hands (it wasn't) and was angry that he wasn't afforded the usual keeper protection (that is, IF YOU HAVE THE BALL the other players should do everything they can to avoid contact) and then he got heated, said some things he shouldn't have and was handed a yellow card - at which point a substitute keeper came in, and Nick, recognizing the opportunity, peppered a shot from 25 yards that should have been a decent save, but instead ended up slipping past the diving keeper for a goal...

All in all a great way to end the season: we lost only once in the two seasons where we were twice champions, to the same team we beat for the championship both times... it's a great battle when we play them, but lucky we stand 2-1-1 against them, with the two wins both coming in championship games...

Well done, Kumquats...

Have a safe holiday and try not to miss us too much before we start next session after the new year...

KUMQUATS: 2009 CHAMPIONS!